The Echo

No. 1-2004         JANUARY      Santee, CA

The Monthly Newsletter of:

Carlton Hills Evangelical Lutheran Church

9735 Halberns Blvd., Santee, CA  92071

Voice/Fax: (619) 448-1888

E-Mail: chlc@CarltonHillsLutheran.org

 


 

Carlton Hills Evangelical Lutheran Church Council and Staff

Sue Lisowsky

President

Laura Vaughan

Vice President

Marie Freeman

Secretary

Charlotte Arthurton

Financial Secretary

Deanna Sampson

Treasurer

Leslie Atkins

Worship

Tom Insel

Trustee

Janice Davis

Stewardship

Bill Thomas

Outreach

Darrel Timan

Christian Education

Lauri O’Neil

Director, Preschool

Pr. Molly Knutson-Keller

SDSU Lutheran Campus Pastor

Our Mission Statement:

Strengthen Faith in Christ

Enlarge our Hearts

Energize for Mission

Stretch our Minds

Mark Neuhaus

Pastor

Jan Neuhaus

Music Director

Marsha Hamilton

Organist

Kathy Norris

Principal, Day School

Vacant

Parish Education

Deanna Sampson

School Bookkeeper

Leslie Atkins

Jennifer Brown

Delores Ryden

Mutual Support

Committee Members

Ed Teichner

Coordinator

Stephens Ministry

Mary Thomas

Prayer Chain, 334-6457

Julie & Terry Borchard

L.B.T. Missionaries



A MESSAGE FROM PASTOR FRANK GEARHART

After The Angels Have Gone


Christmas is over. The angels have gone, and we know it. The lights are out, the tree down, the packages opened, the cookies eaten. It’s back to life as usual, with winter and the January! February blues stretching before us. No angels. No excitement. Some of us face sickness and suffering, and some stand face-to-face with death. Others face the long winter months feeling very lonely. Now, it is back to the job, or back to school. Getting up early, and working hard, and being tired, and wondering where the energy will come from to get through the day and the week.

Mark’s gospel (7:24-27) includes a poignant, painful line: “the winds blew and beat against the house, and it fell—and great was its fall!” Christmas is over, but God is at work, preparing us for those times when the difficult winds pound us. God is at work strengthening our f6undations, and Christ desires to be the cornerstone of our lives.

We enter a new year with four responses. All will help to build our spiritual homes into the spiritual dwelling that God had in mind when we were created.

First: Do the hard work of building. When the winds blow, following Christ is hard work. Ask your spouse or friend to pray with you. . . or tell that young person you love him/her and always will. . . no matter what.

Second: Be far-sighted. Do not trade a long- term blessing for a short-term pleasure.

Third: Listen—to hear the Lord’s voice. We cannot hear if we are not listening.

Fourth: Act on the things that God has called us to do. Don’t know what God wants you to do? Not feeling equipped? I am convinced that God doesn’t call the unequipped; I am convinced that God doesn’t call the equipped. God equips the called. God is calling you today. He is looking for willing hearts and lives.

Yes, Christmas is over, but Christ is still here. Be sure Christ is the cornerstone, the rock on which you build your life.


Interim Pastors to Serve CHLC

The congregational council has approved the Bishop’s recommendation that Pastor Frank Gearhart and Pastor Rick Schowalter serve during the Interim at CHLC.  Pr Frank will serve 3/4 time and Pr Rick 1/4 time.  This will allow the specialized ministry of youth and children’s ministry to go forward under the leadership of Pr Rick who is also Director of Youth Leadership for our entire Pacifica Synod.  Additionally, Pr Rick will lend his youth ministry skills in teaching confirmation, 1st communion classes, and chapel at the school.  Welcome Pastor Rick.

 

Pastor Frank will serve the congregation in all other capacities such as leading worship (except for every 6th Sunday when Pr Rick preaches), devote 20 hours a week to pastoral concerns, perform pastoral acts, teach adult education, visit members and prospective members, work with council and transition team and committees, account to the Bishop on the progress of Interim Pastoral ministry and carry out other congregational needs as 3/4 time ministry allows.

 

There are seven specific goals of our Intentional Interim Ministry, which are part of Pr Frank’s areas of leadership:

1.   To maintain the viability of the congregation

2.   To help resolve feelings of grief over the death of Pastor Mark

3.   To reinforce the ministry of the laity

4.   To deal with special needs of our congregation

5.   To emphasize fellowship and reconciliation with one another

6.   To strengthen our ties with Synod and the Church-at-large

7.     To increase the potential for a fruitful ministry under the next regularly-called pastor

Introducing

Pastor Frank Gearhart

Pastor Frank has served as an ordained minister of the ELCA for 39 years.  He grew up in Iowa and moved in California with his parents in 1956.  After ordination he served six congregation in Southern California including 12 years at Bethlehem, Encinitas, and 14 years at First Lutheran, Redlands, with shorter pastorates at Templeton-Atascadero, Santa Maria, Orange, and retired from Christ Lutheran, Pacific Beach in 1999.  Since retirement Pastor Frank has briefly served three congregations facing pastoral crisis including St. Luke’s, La Mesa, Calvary, Del Mar, and St. Peter’s by the Sea in Point Loma.

Together with his wife Jane, dog Shadrach, and cat Lucy, Pr Frank lives in So Carlsbad (2406 La Plancha Ln.  Carlsbad 92009).  Their three children are grown with Anna, her husband Leif and three children Linnea, Elise, and Mattias living in Oxnard, Jennifer living in San Francisco, and Paul living in Sweden.  Paul is a “starving art student” going to glass making school at Orrefors, Sweden.

The 3/4 time ministry at CHLC will include working at home Mondays, being at CHLC Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays 10am-7pm, and Sunday mornings, off Friday and Saturday.  That schedule will be adjusted to accommodate parish schedules.

Pr Frank is a graduate of Pacific Lutheran University, Tacoma WA, Lutheran School of Theology – Chicago, spent 6 weeks in the Holy Land on a study seminar and is a California license Marriage, Family Therapist.  Jane graduated from Cal State San Bernardino with a math major and worked for T.R.W. at Norton Air Force Base, and Health Data Sciences in San Bernardino prior to retirement.  We look forward to meeting and getting to know the wonderful people at CHLC.

The City of Santee invited the Neuhaus Family to accept a certificate of adjournment at the December 17th City Council meeting. Jan, Erin, Andrew and Pastor Mark’s parents were there for the presentation.

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Introducing a Quarter Time Pastor

 for CHLC:

Pastor Rick Schowalter

 

Carlton Hills Evangelical Lutheran Church has hired Pastor Rick Schowalter as a quarter time pastor to assist Pastor Gearhart who will be the interim pastor on a three quarter time basis.  Pastor Rick will have the following duties as presented to the church council at Carlton Hills at their December meeting:

 

·        The employment is meant to take place beginning January 1, 2004 and will call for 12 hours of service per week

·        Office hours every Monday from 9:00am-Noon

·        Wednesday evening program to include a church-wide dinner from 6:10pm-6:30pm, a children’s program from 6:30pm-7:30pm and Confirmation from 7:30-8:30pm

·        First Communion Instruction

·        Preaching every 6th Sunday

·        Youth group (Hi-Youth) participation and support

·        Retreats, Trips and Camps for children and youth

·        On call for pastoral care especially when Pastor Gearhart is not available or he is having a day off

·        Vacation fill-in for Pastor Gearhart

·        Pastoral leadership for the school especially with chapel participation

The new program being offered will be the Wednesday evening program and more information about this program will soon be made available.  This program is a part of Pastor Rick’s ministry experience and has had great success in many locations.  The programming is in keeping with the direction the church has set over the past several months.  The program includes a dinner for everyone at Carlton Hills.  Singles and families are encouraged to attend.  The children’s program following the dinner is called God’s Gifts.  It is meant to be a program for children K-6th grade and is largely a take-home lesson where a Bible story and memory verses are learned at home and children are given credit for their work at God’s Gifts where they earn prizes, recognition, awards and a trip at the end of two ten- week sessions each year.

The following is a brief outline of Rick’s ministry experience, education and training.

Grew up in Minnesota and graduated from Gustavus Adolphus College, St. Peter Minnesota

Graduated from Luther Seminary in Minneapolis with a Master of Divinity Degree and later would earn a Doctor of Ministry degree

Served 3 previous congregations as a youth and family pastor: Zion Lutheran in Anoka, Minnesota for 6 years, St. Luke’s Lutheran in Bloomington Minnesota for 6 years and Shepherd of the Valley Lutheran in Phoenix, Arizona for 10 years

Currently is the solo pastor at Hope Lutheran in San Diego and Director of Youth Ministry Leadership for the Pacifica Synod.

Served the Grand Canyon Synod as Director of Youth Ministry Leadership, is currently the director of the Southwest Youth Ministry Certification Network (SYMCN) and has been on the board of Lutheran Youth Encounter

Active with the Cursillo retreat everywhere he has served and the youth versions of this retreat know by different names in different parts of the country

Authored a book edited by Lyle Schaller entitled “Igniting A New Generation of Believers”, Abingdon Press, 1995

Pastor Rick is married and has three daughters.  His wife Deby is a Chiropractor and works for a chiropractic HMO as a senior case manager in San Diego.  His oldest daughter, Beth is married and studying to be a high school guidance counselor at Northern Arizona University.  His middle daughter, Rachel is in a PhD program doing Bio Medical Research at the University of Kentucky and his youngest daughter Naomi is a junior at Grossmont High School in El Cajon.


The Grief Journey

Someone you love has died.  You are beginning a journey that is often frightening, painful, and lonely.  No words, written or spoken, can take away the pain you feel.  Perhaps someone has already said, “In time, you’ll feel better.”  Actually, time alone has nothing to do with healing.  To heal, you must be willing to learn about and understand the grief process.

 

As scary as this may sound, you will never “get over” your grief.  Instead you will learn to live with it.  This does not mean you will never be happy again.  If you allow yourself the time and compassion to mourn, if you truly work through your grief, you will heal.

 

WHAT YOU MAY FEEL

Because grief is different for every person it is hard to predict what you will feel in the weeks and months ahead.  While your grief is unique, it might help you to understand some of the most common emotions associated with grief.

¨     Shock – dazed, stunned.  This is nature’s way of protecting you from an overwhelming reality.  Stomach pains, heart palpitations, crying hysterically, screaming angrily or even laughing.  These behaviors help you survive during this extra ordinarily difficult time.

¨     Confusion – even ongoing.  Thoughts may be disconnected, your mind may race, you may sense the dead person’s presence or have fleeting glimpses of the person across the room.  This is very common and very normal – they are “memory pictures.”

¨     Anxiety.  As your head and heart begin to miss the person who died, you may naturally feel anxious.  You may doubt your ability to survive, feel anxious about everyday realities such as work or finances.  You may panic.

¨     Anger and its cousins hate, blame, resentment, rage, and jealousy are normal responses.  With loss comes the desire to protest.  Explosive emotions provide the vehicle to do so.  We have two avenues of expressing these emotions:  outward or inward.  The outward avenue leads to healing:  the inward does not.  Critical to your healing is finding someone who does not judge you but allows you to feel whatever you feel.

¨     Guilt.  We naturally consider the “If-onlys.”  Remember thinking is logical, feeling is not.

¨     Sadness.  Your full sense of loss will never occur all at once.  Weeks or often months pass before you are confronted with the depths of your sadness.  This slow progression is good.  You could not or should not tolerate all your sadness at once.  Your body, mind, and spirit need time working together to allow you to embrace the depth of your loss.  Be patient with yourself.

 

MYTHS ABOUT GRIEF

Myth #1  Grief and mourning are the same.  Grief is the composite of thoughts and feelings about a loss you experienced within yourself.  Mourning is the external expression of that grief.  Crying, talking about the person who died, celebrating special events are examples of mourning.  Healing begins when we mourn publicly in the presence of understanding and caring persons who will not judge you.

 

Myth #2  There are predictable stages to grief.  While grief often manifests itself in similar ways, and at times there is a logical progression of emotion, grief is not predictable.

 

Myth #3  We should avoid the painful parts of grieving.  Our society often encourages prematurely moving away from grief instead of towards it.  The result is too many bereaved people either grieve in isolation or even move away from their grief.  When you avoid the pain of grief, you avoid healing.  Instead, you must learn to slowly embrace the full force of this pain so someday you can again embrace happiness.

 

Myth #4  We should “get over” our grief as soon as possible.  Rather than using the term resolution or recovery, I prefer reconciliation.  This does not mean getting over your grief, it means growing through it.  With reconciliation - which may take weeks or years – you feel a renewed sense of energy and confidence, an ability to fully acknowledge the reality of the death and become reinvalued with the activities of living.

 

THE RECONCILIATION NEEDS OF MOURNING

Need 1.  Acknowledge the reality of the death.

 

Need 2.  Move toward the pain of the loss.  Expressing your thoughts and feelings about the death with all their intensity is a difficult but important need.  Dose yourself little by little.  You should not try to meet this need all at once.

 

Need 3.  Continue the relationship with the person who died through memory.  Embracing your memories – both happy and sad – it can be a very slow and at times, painful process that occurs in small steps.  Remembering the past makes hoping for the future possible.

 

Need 4.  Develop a new self-identity.  Part of your self-identity comes from the relationships you have created with other people.  When someone with whom you have a relationship dies, your self-identity naturally changes.

 

Need 5.  Search for meaning.  We question the meaning and purpose of life especially at the death of a loved once.  Move at your own pace.

 

Need 6.  Continue to receive support from others.  You will never stop needing the love and support of others because you never “get over” your grief.  As you learn to reconcile your grief, you will need help less intensely and less often.

 

Grieving may be the hardest work you have ever done.  And hard work is less burdensome when others lend a hand.  Enclosed is a copy of the mourner’s Bill of Rights.  You may wish to share these pages with others.  Remember there is also Pastoral help available, and avail yourself of a new adult class beginning January  11th at 10:15 a.m.  We will use the Book of Ruth to discover some Biblical perspective about grief and mourning as we trace Ruth’s journey of faith.

New Children’s and Family Ministry

How can we get our children excited about coming to church?  How can we equip our families to be places of Christian education and spiritual nourishment?  How can our church come together to enjoy each other’s company and build quality relationships?

 

Try coming to a mid-week family program that will include something for the whole family and encourages singles to meet others.

 

Beginning Wednesday,  January 21st  we will provide the following for 10 weeks each Wednesday evening.

 

6:10pm Dinner for everyone…children and adults…families and singles

6:30pm-7:30pm Children’s Program called God’s Gifts

7:30pm-8:30pm Confirmation

 

We encourage all church organizations to try meeting for these ten weeks on this night.  Let’s make Wednesday Church night and have some precious time to have fellowship with one another.  The church council has made the decision to meet on Wednesday evenings, in part to support this night.  Come and meet the family of Carlton Hills.  It will also be a wonderful time to invite visitors.  Everyone is welcome.

 

What will the Children’s program be like?