The
Echo
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No. 1-2004 JANUARY |
The Monthly Newsletter of:
Voice/Fax:
(619) 448-1888
E-Mail:
chlc@CarltonHillsLutheran.org
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Sue Lisowsky President Laura Vaughan Vice President Marie Freeman Secretary Charlotte Arthurton Financial Secretary Deanna Sampson Treasurer Leslie Atkins Worship Tom Insel Trustee Janice Davis Stewardship Bill Thomas Outreach Darrel Timan Christian Education Lauri O’Neil Director, Preschool Pr. Molly Knutson-Keller SDSU Lutheran Campus Pastor |
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Mark Neuhaus Pastor Jan Neuhaus Music Director Marsha Hamilton Organist Kathy Norris Principal, Day School Vacant Parish Education Deanna Sampson School Bookkeeper Leslie Atkins Jennifer Brown Delores Ryden Mutual Support Committee Members Ed Teichner Coordinator Mary Thomas Prayer Chain, 334-6457 Julie & Terry Borchard L.B.T. Missionaries |
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A MESSAGE FROM PASTOR
After The
Christmas is over. The angels have gone, and we know it. The lights
are out, the tree down, the packages opened, the cookies eaten. It’s back to
life as usual, with winter and the January! February blues
stretching before us. No angels. No excitement. Some of us face sickness
and suffering, and some stand face-to-face with death. Others face the long
winter months feeling very lonely. Now, it is back to the job, or back to
school. Getting up early, and working hard, and being tired, and wondering
where the energy will come from to get through the day and the week.
We enter a new year with four responses. All will help to build
our spiritual homes into the spiritual dwelling that God had in mind when we
were created.
First: Do the hard work of building. When the winds blow, following
Second: Be far-sighted. Do not trade a long- term blessing for a
short-term pleasure.
Third: Listen—to hear the Lord’s voice. We cannot hear if we are not
listening.
Fourth: Act on the things that God has called us to do. Don’t know
what God wants you to do? Not feeling equipped? I am convinced that God doesn’t
call the unequipped; I am convinced that God doesn’t call the equipped. God equips the called. God is calling
you today. He is looking for willing hearts and lives.
Yes, Christmas
is over, but
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Interim Pastors to Serve CHLC
The
congregational council has approved the Bishop’s recommendation that
Pastor Frank will serve the
congregation in all other capacities such as leading worship (except for every
6th Sunday when Pr Rick preaches), devote 20 hours a week to pastoral concerns,
perform pastoral acts, teach adult education, visit members and prospective
members, work with council and transition team and committees, account to the
Bishop on the progress of Interim Pastoral ministry and carry out other
congregational needs as 3/4 time ministry allows.
There
are seven specific goals of our Intentional Interim Ministry, which are part of
1.
To
maintain the viability of the congregation
2.
To
help resolve feelings of grief over the death of
3.
To
reinforce the ministry of the laity
4.
To
deal with special needs of our congregation
5.
To
emphasize fellowship and reconciliation with one another
6.
To
strengthen our ties with Synod and the Church-at-large
7.
To
increase the potential for a fruitful ministry under the next regularly-called
pastor
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Introducing
Together with his wife
The 3/4 time ministry at CHLC will include working
at home Mondays, being at CHLC Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays 10am-7pm,
and Sunday mornings, off Friday and Saturday.
That schedule will be adjusted to accommodate parish schedules.
The
City of
ab

·
The
employment is meant to take place beginning
·
Office
hours every Monday from
·
Wednesday
evening program to include a church-wide dinner from
·
First
Communion Instruction
·
Preaching
every 6th Sunday
·
Youth
group (Hi-Youth) participation and support
·
Retreats,
Trips and Camps for children and youth
·
On
call for pastoral care especially when
·
Vacation
fill-in for
·
Pastoral
leadership for the school especially with chapel participation
The new program being offered will be the Wednesday
evening program and more information about this program will soon be made
available. This program is a part of
The following is a brief outline of
Grew up in
Graduated from
Served 3 previous congregations as a youth and
family pastor: Zion Lutheran in
Currently is the solo pastor at
Served the Grand Canyon Synod as Director of Youth
Ministry Leadership, is currently the director of the Southwest Youth Ministry
Certification Network (SYMCN) and has been on the board of Lutheran Youth
Encounter
Active with the Cursillo
retreat everywhere he has served and the youth versions of this retreat know by
different names in different parts of the country
Authored a book edited by
The
Grief Journey
Someone
you love has died. You are beginning a
journey that is often frightening, painful, and lonely. No words, written or spoken, can take away
the pain you feel. Perhaps someone has
already said, “In time, you’ll feel better.”
Actually, time alone has nothing to do with healing. To heal, you must be willing to learn about
and understand the grief process.
As
scary as this may sound, you will never “get over” your grief. Instead you will learn to live with it. This does not mean you will never be happy
again. If you allow yourself the time
and compassion to mourn, if you truly work through your grief, you will heal.
WHAT YOU MAY FEEL
Because
grief is different for every person it is hard to predict what you will feel in
the weeks and months ahead. While your grief
is unique, it might help you to understand some of the most common emotions
associated with grief.
¨ Shock – dazed, stunned. This is nature’s way of protecting you from
an overwhelming reality. Stomach pains,
heart palpitations, crying hysterically, screaming angrily or even
laughing. These behaviors help you
survive during this extra ordinarily difficult time.
¨ Confusion – even
ongoing. Thoughts may be disconnected,
your mind may race, you may sense the dead person’s
presence or have fleeting glimpses of the person across the room. This is very common and very normal – they
are “memory pictures.”
¨ Anxiety. As your head and heart begin to miss the
person who died, you may naturally feel anxious. You may doubt your ability to survive, feel
anxious about everyday realities such as work or finances. You may panic.
¨ Anger and its cousins hate, blame, resentment, rage, and jealousy are
normal responses. With loss comes the
desire to protest. Explosive emotions
provide the vehicle to do so. We have
two avenues of expressing these emotions:
outward or inward. The outward
avenue leads to healing: the inward does
not. Critical to your healing is finding
someone who does not judge you but allows you to feel whatever you feel.
¨ Guilt. We naturally consider the “If-onlys.” Remember
thinking is logical, feeling is not.
¨ Sadness. Your full sense of loss will never occur all
at once. Weeks or often months pass
before you are confronted with the depths of your sadness. This slow progression is good. You could not or should not tolerate all your
sadness at once. Your body, mind, and
spirit need time working together to allow you to embrace the depth of your
loss. Be patient with yourself.
MYTHS ABOUT GRIEF
Myth #1 Grief and mourning are the same. Grief is the composite of thoughts and
feelings about a loss you experienced within yourself. Mourning is the external expression of that
grief. Crying, talking about the person
who died, celebrating special events are examples of mourning. Healing begins when we mourn publicly in the
presence of understanding and caring persons who will not judge you.
Myth #2 There are predictable stages to
grief. While grief often manifests
itself in similar ways, and at times there is a logical progression of emotion,
grief is not predictable.
Myth #3 We should avoid the painful parts of
grieving. Our society often encourages
prematurely moving away from grief instead of towards it. The result is too many bereaved people either
grieve in isolation or even move away from their grief. When you avoid the pain of grief, you avoid
healing. Instead, you must learn to
slowly embrace the full force of this pain so someday you can again embrace
happiness.
Myth #4 We should “get over” our grief as soon
as possible. Rather than using the term
resolution or recovery, I prefer reconciliation. This does not mean getting over your grief,
it means growing through it. With
reconciliation - which may take weeks or years – you feel a renewed sense of
energy and confidence, an ability to fully acknowledge the reality of the death
and become reinvalued with the activities of living.
THE RECONCILIATION NEEDS OF MOURNING
Need 1. Acknowledge the reality of the death.
Need 2. Move toward the pain of the loss. Expressing your thoughts and feelings about
the death with all their intensity is a difficult but important need. Dose yourself little by little. You should not try to meet this need all at
once.
Need 3. Continue the relationship with the person who
died through memory. Embracing your
memories – both happy and sad – it can be a very slow and at times, painful
process that occurs in small steps.
Remembering the past makes hoping for the future possible.
Need 4. Develop a new self-identity. Part of your self-identity comes from the
relationships you have created with other people. When someone with whom you have a
relationship dies, your self-identity naturally changes.
Need 5. Search for meaning. We question the meaning and purpose of life
especially at the death of a loved once.
Move at your own pace.
Need 6. Continue to receive support from others. You will never stop needing the love and
support of others because you never “get over” your grief. As you learn to reconcile your grief, you
will need help less intensely and less often.
Grieving
may be the hardest work you have ever done.
And hard work is less burdensome when others lend a hand. Enclosed is a copy of the mourner’s Bill of
Rights. You may wish to share these
pages with others. Remember there is
also Pastoral help available, and avail yourself of a new adult class beginning
January 11th at
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New Children’s and Family Ministry
How
can we get our children excited about coming to church? How can we equip our families to be places of
Christian education and spiritual nourishment?
How can our church come together to enjoy each other’s company and build
quality relationships?
Try
coming to a mid-week family program that will include something for the whole
family and encourages singles to meet others.
Beginning
Wednesday, January
21st we will provide the
following for 10 weeks each Wednesday evening.
We
encourage all church organizations to try meeting for these ten weeks on this
night. Let’s make
What
will the Children’s program be like?
God’s Gifts is a weekly lesson that is designed to be a take-home lesson
that a parent or and adult friend or an older sibling can teach children K-6th
grade. When the lessons are returned the
next week the children earn points for: answered questions, memorized Bible
verses, a parent or adult friend signature, going to Sunday School
or bringing a friend. The points serve
three purposes.
The
points can be used in a “store” to purchase prizes and candy. They can be contributed to a “World Hunger
Jar” where the points worth 3 cents each will help the children of the
world. And all points earned and spent
can be accumulated to have the child attend a trip at the end of the 10 week
session.
Sound
like fun? It is!!
We
do need help. The confirmands
are already volunteering to help but lots of help is needed. The following help will be needed: Provide a dinner, Provide prizes or candy for
the God’s Gifts store, be a “listener” who listens to the children recite their
Bible verses and records their points, provide a nursery for preschoolers
during God’s Gifts, help run the God’s Gifts store, help the confirmands put on a puppet show to tell the lesson for the
day, and maybe more categories of help will be needed.
Would
like to consider helping? Please come to
a meeting on Wednesday, January 7th at
A
registration form for God’s Gifts will be included in the Sunday bulletin for
the Sundays in January. Please consider
your participation prayerfully.
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January
Potluck!
The
Tuesday Fellowship will be sponsoring a spaghetti potluck, on Sunday the 18th
at
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DORCAS TEA PARTY
The
The
Christmas Tea was held at Cobblestone Cottage Tea Shoppe in Alpine on Thursday,
December 11th. After dressing up in feather boas, large floppy hats,
gloves, etc.(even our elf), we were served a
scrumptious afternoon tea that consisted of scones, tea sandwiches, fruit,
quiche and desserts. There was a very large assortment of teas to choose
from. This should definitely become an annual event!
Our
Sympathy to
Spotlight on Hymns
We three kings
of Orient are, Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star.
.
Lyrics
by
The Christmas carol "We Three
Kings" tells the story of the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to
the baby
According to tradition dating back to
medieval times, their names were Balthasar,
An 8th century saint,
The Bible, however, does not describe the
kings or reveal their names. In fact, it does not call them kings at all, but
simply Magi, or Wise Men. The Magi were a Median (Kurdish) priestly caste who
rose to power in ancient
The Magi of the Nativity were probably
important men in their own country and may well have been of noble or royal
birth, but there is no evidence to back this up. The idea that they were kings
arose in the Middle Ages and was based on earlier
Biblical prophecies about kings bearing gifts.
We
can't even say for sure how many Magi visited
Tradition has it that in later years the
Wise Men were baptized by
Their purported remains were brought to
The carol "We Three Kings" was
written in 1857 by an American minister,
http://www.royalty.nu/history/religion/Magi.html
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Lovers of carols and Christmas parties
know that this season has 12 days, packed with golden rings, calling birds and
various kinds of gentry, musicians and domestic workers. December 25 is
Christmas - and 25 minus 12 does equal 13. Do the math
and you will see why shopping malls, newspapers, television networks, and other
cultural fortresses annually deliver some kind of "Twelve Days of
Christmas" blitz, beginning on December 13.
Problem is that for centuries church
calendars in the East and the West have agreed that there are twelve days of
Christmas and they begin on Christmas Day and end on January 6.
The twelve days of Christmas end with the
Feast of Epiphany also called "The Adoration of the Magi" or
"The Manifestation of God." Celebrated on January 6, it is known as
the day of the Three Kings (or wise men/magi). .
January 6, the last day of Christmas,
comes with its own traditions, rituals and symbols in some countries. Carolers
are going from house to house; in many homes the Christmas tree is
taken down and in some areas is burnt in a big bonfire. For the children this is
an especially joyous occasion because, associated with taking down the tree
goes the "plündern" (raiding) of the tree.
The sweets, chocolate ornaments wrapped in foil or cookies, which have replaced
the sugarplums, are the raiders' rewards.
The history of Christmas, (the festival of
the nativity of
In the fourth century, December 25 was
finally adopted by the Western Christian Church as the date of the Feast of
Christ's birth. It is believed that this change in date gave rise to the
tradition of the "12 Days of Christmas." While the Western Christian
Church celebrates December 25th, the Eastern Christian Church to this day
recognizes January 6 as the celebration of the nativity. January 6 was also
kept as the physical birthday in
http://www.serve.com/shea/germusa/3kings.htm
God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
Dear God, I have a problem -- it's me.
Growing old is inevitable, growing UP is optional.
There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
Silence is often misinterpreted, but
never misquoted.
Do the math ... count your blessings.
Faith is the ability to not panic.
Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.
If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.
As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
The most important things in your home are the people.
When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so
He can untangle the knot.
A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
We do not remember days, but moments.
Life is moving too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.
Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just hearsay.
It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just remember to
flush it occasionally!
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Due
to the passing of our beloved
The
annual Christmas Bazaar was a great success with many members of the
congregation not only purchasing items, but also donating many items.
We
thank all those who helped.
Officers
were elected at our November meeting. They are
Installation
will be held at a worship service in January.
Our
mission for next year is to assist the Santee Food Bank to collect
non-perishable foods and cash to purchase meat, dairy products, etc. You
will see inserts in the bulletins in the coming months, and someone from the
Food Bank will be addressing the congregation at a worship service soon.
We
invite all ladies to join us. Our next meeting is
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Council Highlights from
After devotions, where all members shared what they
considered their most important blessings,
The council feels we are blessed to have these two
wonderful ministers to assist us in the every day affairs of our church.
We will be approaching members to serve on a Transition
Team to begin the healing process we must all go through. This team will
be introduced at our Budget and Election Meeting that was postponed until
Our annual congregational meeting will be held in February,
with the definite date to be announced.
Offering envelopes are in for 2004. We still need to
have Consecration Sunday and the Ministry Fair, which were also
postponed. Please pray carefully about your pledges for the coming
year.
Council will have a meeting following church service on
January 11th, and then our regular meeting on January 21st.
Respectfully submitted,
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+++REMEMBER IN PRAYER those
who are affected by anxiety, depression, guilt, grief, loneliness, poverty,
illness and in need of God’s healing and loving touch:
Friends:
Members: Crystal & Rod Boisvert, Arlean Lane, Laura Kramer, Norie Feltner, Ralph Beyer, Joseph & Gertrude Geiler, Gunda Richardson, Grace
Otto, Judy Johnston, Ed & Marge Whitehead, Elsie Erion,
Linda Tomsick, Cole & Marie Freeman, Betty Keehn, Charlotte Kimbrough, Marty
Freer, Arnold Flurry, Jan, Erin, Andrew Neuhaus & family.
NOTE: We currently have two prayer chains that can
be easily activated by calling
v SR. FELLOWSHIP meets
at the Olive Garden Restaurant in
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home:
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Texts for the Sundays in January:
Jan 4th/ 2nd Sunday in Christmas
Jer
31:7-14, Eph 1:3-14,
Jan 11th/ Baptism of Our Lord
Isa
60:1-6, Eph 3:1-12, Matt 2:1-12
Jan 18st/ Confession of
Acts 4:8-13, 1 Cor 10:1-5,
Jan 25th/ 3rd Sunday after the Epiphany
Neh
8:1-3,5-6, 8-10, 1 Cor
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We can use
help in knowing who is in need of a thinking of you card. If you know of
someone ill, having surgery or ??? please
contact
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January Anniversaries
21/
29/ Mavis &
30/ Jerold &
January Birthdays
2/
6/
7/
9/
9/
14/ Rod Boisvert
16/
16/ Herb Ryden
17/
17/
18/
23/
26/
30/
JANUARY MINISTERS
Acolyte: 4/
Assist.
Minister:
Coffee
Fellowship: 4/
Communion
Assist.:
Communion
Care:
Greeters:
4/ 11/
Lector:
4/ 11/
18/ 25/
Nursery: TBA
Sound: 4/
11/ 18/ 25/ TBA
Ushers:
The Mourner’s Bill of Rights
As a bereaved person, you
have certain rights that others must not take away from you. In fact, it is the very upholding of these
rights that makes healing possible.
1. You
have the right to experience your own unique grief.
No one else will
grieve in exactly the same way you do.
Don’t allow others to tell you what you should or should not be feeling.
2. You
have the right to talk about your grief.
Talking
about your grief will help you heal.
Seek out others who will allow you to talk as much as you want, as often
as you want, about your grief.
3. You
have the right to feel a multitude of emotions.
Confusion,
disorientation, fear, guilt, and relief are just a few of the emotions you
might feel as part of your grief journey.
Know that there is no such thing as a “wrong” emotion. Accept all your feelings and find listeners
who will do the same.
4. You
have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits.
Your
feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you feeling fatigued. Respect what your body and mind are telling
you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. And don’t allow others to push you into doing
things you don’t feel ready to do.
5. You
have the right to experience grief “attacks.”
Sometimes, out of
nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. This can be frightening, but is normal and
natural. Find someone who understands
and will let you talk it out.
6. You
have the right to make use of ritual.
The funeral ritual
provides you with the support of caring people.
More important, it supportively sees you off on your painful but
necessary grief journey. Later rituals,
such as lighting a candle for the person who died, can also be healing
touchstones. If others tell you that rituals
such as these are silly of unnecessary, don’t listen.
7. You
have the right to embrace your spirituality.
If faith is a part of
your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you. Allow yourself to be around people who
understand and support your religious beliefs.
If you feel angry at God, find someone to talk with who won’t be
critical of your feelings of hurt and abandonment.
8. You
have the right to search for meaning.
You may find yourself
asking, “Why did he or she die? Why this
way? Why now?” Some of your questions may have answers but
some may not. And watch out for the
clichéd responses some people may give you.
Comments like, “It was God’s will” of “think of what you have to be
thankful for” are not helpful and you do not have to accept them.
9.
You have the right to treasure your memories.
Memories are one of
the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. You will always remember. Instead of ignoring your memories, find
creative ways to embrace them.
10.You
have the right to move toward your grief and heal.
Reconciling your
grief will not happen quickly. Remember,
grief is a process, not an event. Be
patient and tolerant with yourself and avoid people who are impatient and
intolerant with you. Neither you nor
those around you must forget that the death of someone loved changes your life
forever.